Reigning Hope
by Amara the Warrior
Summary: Jill has Lupus, an incurable autoimmune disease. She has a strange dream and is tempted to check out the secrets within. Her and Chris fall into an alternate reality and see what would have happened if Raccoon City was never destroyed.
1. Chapter 1

For my friend Macy Vitmin...

**A/N: I do not own Resident Evil. This disclaimer will be in effect for the rest of the story.**

_For my friend Macy Vitmin. She bravely struggles with Lupus every day and I love her so much for that. Thank you for your friendship._

Why didn't people believe me? I had Lupus; it was as clear as day to me. Why did other people have trouble seeing the truth?

Systemic Lupus Erthymatosis...my own personal demon… It had taken everything from me: my hope, my happiness, my friends... Yet...I was still alive.

It had not killed me...

I had a mild form of Lupus. I was shocked when I heard those words uttered from my doctor.

How the hell could Lupus be mild? That thought just didn't make sense. I always thought that Lupus was this horrible disease that no one wanted. There was no cure and everyone was afraid to talk about it. It was hard to treat and even harder to live with.

How was a life like that possible from a mild disease. I didn't understand it at all.

Mild suffering...

I wasn't mildly suffering; I was suffering severely.

The phone rang; I knew who it was. My Rheumatologist...he was calling about my test results.

I picked up the phone. "Hello," I answered.

"Hey Jill, I got your test results back," he began. "Well, everything looks normal. Your Lupus is not showing up in the tests." he explained.

My blood went cold. "Are you sure?" I asked unsteadily.

"Yeah," he answered. "Your blood work is clean. I don't know what to tell you. I can't diagnose you until I can get some adequate results. But I'm not going to do all the blood tests over again because I know they'll always be negative...and that's a waste of money."

I wanted to cry. This was a horrible nightmare come true. Why were the blood tests always negative? I felt like I was living a horrible nightmare. But when was I going to wake up?

"What are we going to do?" I stammered, starting to cry.

"I don't know," he replied sadly. "I'm pretty sure you have it, I just don't know how to prove it. We may never be able to prove it. I'm sorry Jill."

I shook my head, crying fully now. "It's okay, it's not your fault," I slammed the phone down as I hung up.

Then I screamed.

I went into the bathroom and closed the door. I screamed and beat my fists against the mirror.

"Why?" I screamed. "Why God, why?"

Defeated, I slid to the floor. "Come on Jill," I whispered to myself. "You Can do this. You're Jill valentine. You're a fighter. You will never give up. Always remember that?"

I had forgotten that recently. I was a strong woman and I could do this!

I stared at my tear-stained reflection. "Look at me," I gurgled. "I look so ugly!"

I had all the symptoms, but because the tests were negative, I was forced to suffer.

All I was thinking was "Get me out of here!"

I wanted to end it all. I had a razor blade in my cabinet, no, Tylenol would do the trick.

No, that was suicide. I couldn't give up...not yet. There was still something left in this world for me.

All I had to do was find it.

I fell asleep on my bed. The whole endeavor had drained me of all energy. That's Lupus did...it drained you of everything you had. Then when you woke up, everything was different.

My dream was weird; everything jumped and warped around me. Where was I? I didn't know. I wasn't home... I was in a magical world, full of creatures I had never seen before. They were like dinosaurs, but more humanoid. I cried as I saw the beautiful butterflies flying through the sky.

I wanted to also fly away and be free.

I breathed in the crisp, clean air. The forest stretched for miles. Everything was so peaceful. I wanted to go there and stay forever.

Too bad it was just a dream. I wanted to live there. It was so much better than my home and where I was living.

I always wanted to be a butterfly and flap my wings to freedom.

Lupus was a terrible barrior to freedom and happiness. I still had my job, and I was happy in my friendship with Chris.

He was my rock throughout all of this. I loved him.

At times I wanted Chris to feel the horrible pain I was going through. But then...I realized how cruel that would be.

Chris was a good guy; he didn't deserve lung pain, kidney pain, joint pain, nose pain, mouth sores and the endless list of complaints that came with Lupus.

He was my friend: someone I could trust. I really needed him now.

I picked myself off the forest floor... Sick or not, I was going to have to live sooner or later. The world needed me; my inner self needed me, and most of all I had to do this: live.

I was in a town out west. I didn't work in Raccoon City ever since it was demolished. And after being controlled by Wesker, I needed to get away from everything.

I moved to a town in Wyoming. Wyoming was a large state without a lot of people.

It was the perfect place for me to recover.

Surprisingly, Chris moved there too. Now...I had my best friend back.

"I love you so much Chris..." I whispered to myself.

The forest seemed to breathe around me.

"Hello," I called out.

No one answered. I got a creeped out feeling, like I wasn't alone. Who was there? I continued to walk around the forest...

Then I felt a powerful longing pull at my heart.

And I woke up.

I couldn't believe the experience I had. It was a dream, but it seemed so real. If I didn't know better, I would have thought that was a real place.

My cell phone rang; I picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Hey Jill, you finally picked up!"

It was Chris.

"Hi Chris, I wasn't expecting your call," I answered back.

"Yeah, I tend to do that," he answered.

"Chris,"I breathed. "I'm really glad to hear from you, I had the worst day."

He signed. "Another asshole doctor?"

"Yeah," I answered.

"They said there wasn't anything wrong with me. My blood tests were clean, I couldn't have Lupus."

Chris groaned on the other end. "Just because the Lupus doesn't show up doesn't mean it's not there."

"I tried to tell him that but he wouldn't listen."

"He thinks because he has an MD, that he's better than everyone else?"

"Yeah."

"That arrogance is going to get him in trouble."

"I know... but in his defence, Lupus is a hard disease to diagnose."

"I know, but he should treat you with respect, Jill. You're a warrior, not a patient. You're a fighter, not a coward. He needs to see you the way you really are. You're just trying to feel better. How is that a crime?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. He's just following the rules."

"Well just following the rules can cause a lot of shit."

"I want to see you," he explained. "I miss you Jill. Where are you?"

"Home," I said. "Be careful. You may not like what you're going to see."

I'll always like what I see when I see you. I won't judge, promise."

I smiled. "Thanks Chris, it means a lot to me that you're willing to support me when everyone else has abandoned me."

"That's what Friends are for." He hung up.

I smiled after the phone conversation. I really loved Chris. He was so sweet to me.

Sometimes I wondered what would happen if we dated...

No, that would ruin a great friendship...

But at the same time...life was short...

And for me...maybe even shorter?


	2. Chapter 2

Chris wanted to go out to eat, so we did. It was great to see him again. I had been too sick to leave the house recently, so it was good to see him…

While we were talking, I stared at my coffee, too embarrassed to say what was on my mind. I was afraid I was going to look weak, even in front of him! And that fear took a hold of my heart, and squeezed…until I couldn't think anymore.

"How are you he asked?" his dark eyes studied my face with interest.

How was I? That was a complicated question. On the outside, I looked fine. I was beautiful, somewhat tall, thin and strong. On the inside…I was a wreck.

The antibodies inside my body couldn't tell the difference between good cells and bad cells. They attacked my lungs, joints, skin, and kidneys. The damage wasn't serious or life threatening, but it hurt like hell.

The doctor didn't seem concerned. I wasn't dying, so no steroids would be used.

Steroids were used for serious cases of Lupus, they quickly lowered inflammation and had a few nasty side effects of their own. They were only used in emergencies.

I should have been happy I was not on them. Because that horrible class of drugs had monstrous side effects, and I did not want to look like my disease.

I wanted to scream to the world…and say: "Does anyone recognize me?"

Did anyone feel my pain?

Chris looked at me with confusion. "What's the matter?"

I shook my head. "Nothing just thinking…"

I ran my fingers through my hair…now a brown bob of hair. I was happier because I hated being a blonde. And my eyes were as blue as they had ever been.

"Care to share?" he asked with concern. Chris always took care of me. He was a beautiful friend.

"I don't know," I began. "Do you believe I have Lupus?" I wanted him desperately to say yes…I just wanted one person to believe me, just one! Everyone else thought I was some kind of a lunatic…

He nodded. "Of course I do; I know you of all people wouldn't lie about something so serious. Anyone who doesn't believe is not worth your time. Times are hard for you right now. There are always going to people who don't want to believe. Forget them and move on with your life…okay?"

I laughed. "Thanks Chris."

He smiled back. "You're very welcome Jill…"

We got our meal and we started to eat. Chris looked up at me… "What have you been doing since the *incident*?"

Incident…oh he was talking about my possession and being controlled by Wesker. I thought I hated him the most out of everyone; but now I realized that I just didn't hate him enough.

"Well," I began. "I'm not working…I'm sick all the time and the Lupus thing is really getting me down. Other than that, I am okay."

There was a silence. Chris looked at me grimly. "How long has this been going on…the lupus thing I mean…"

I shrugged. "I've had it my whole life. But it wasn't triggered until now. The experience with Wesker, that's what woke the demon up…"

"I'm so sorry Jill," he apologized. "That has got to be hard for you."

I shook my head. "Don't feel sorry for me; it's not your fault. I'll be okay…I'm a warrior…I'll make it."

"You can't do all of this on your own," he explained.

"Yes I can," I argued. "I'm the only one who sees the truth…"

"Jill, I see the truth too…and I believe you with all my heart. There's nothing about you that suggests you're lying about Lupus…and all I want is for you to feel better."

I smiled. "Thanks Chris, it means so much that you care about me like this…"

"I'll always care about you," he explained. "I'm your friend! Come on, let's get out of here." After eating our lunch we decided to walk around town. It was a cloudy day, with a chance of rain. Yet we were still walking around without a care in the world.

"Chris," I began, looking into his dark brown eyes. "What have you been up to? You know, since the incident?"

He sighed. "Not much...I'm thinking about being a cop…or something…I'm not sure."

I shrugged. "Guess that makes two of us who have no clue on what to do in our lives."

He laughed. "Yes I guess it does."

We were walking through the town and came across an old, abandoned building. I nudged Chris. "Hey," I whispered in his ear. "Has that building always been here? I can't remember seeing it before."

He shook his head. "…No…I haven't seen anything like that before either…"

Something pulled at my heart. It was trying to tell me something. And I think it was trying to tell me that there was something magical and supernatural about that house.

"What do you think we should do?" he asked.

I shrugged. "It looks like nobody lives there so maybe we should just leave?"

But no, I couldn't leave…something was pulling me in the direction of that house!

"Wait…why don't we go back when we get more information on that house."

Chris nodded. "That sounds like a very good idea. Who knows what's in that place!"

Yeah…and who knows what was drawing me toward that house. I was scared. I had been scared before in the past but I was truly scared now.

At the house, Chris and I went over possible owners of the house. We had no idea how it had gotten there. Part of me thought it was some horrible mistake. But then why was I drawn to that house? Why was I thinking about the house even now?

"It's creepy," Chris broke the silence. "Like the Spencer Mansion in the Raccoon mountain region."

"Yes, it is." I remembered the Spencer estate, and the broken down building…looked similar. Why did we venture off? Why did we think that taking the shortcut across town would make things easier?"

The house looked like an old factory building. I couldn't have made much more out from that distance. It was strange that such a place was still up in existence. I thought that it was the town's job to demolish places like that.

Life certainly had its secrets. I wasn't particularly looking for any secrets though. This one just came into my life.

"What are we going to do?" I asked. "I can't forget about that place…it keeps appearing in my mind!"

Chris sighed. "I guess we could go see it again…but you can't go by yourself Jill. I'm worried about you; I don't want you to go alone. Who knows what's in that place!"

I smiled. "Thanks Chris. I'm not a fragile flower; I can take care of myself."

He shrugged. "Yeah but everyone needs help every now and then. Don't be afraid to ask for help Jill."

"I'm not afraid, I just don't need it."

"So you plan on going alone?"

"If I have to!"

"Well, I'll be your backup. We'll go tomorrow night, let's rest for now…"

Resting was hard for me; I kept tossing and turning in my bed. It was hard to get my blanket over me…my hands were so swollen and sore. I hated that feeling: the feeling that I was so helpless.

This disease was crippling me!

I admitted defeat and fell asleep eventually. But my dreams were no better than the reality I lived in.

I kept dreaming about that house. I saw ghosts and spirits floating around. Something was very wrong with that house.

Okay, now I was scared.

The next morning…I got up and made coffee. I had no idea that I was about to come into the terms of supernatural beings.

I never knew ghosts existed…until now…


End file.
